Red Lights With You..

Poem dedicated to underlying fears of rejection

Impatience is my best attribute in situations like this

Lazer stares at slow drivers

I’m disconnected from the feeling of the steering wheel underneath my fingers

Or the sound of the muffled engine

Matching the pace of my tapping index appendage

Back straight to not miss the changing light

…That doesn’t seem to happen quick enough

But

When it’s not me in control of the destination

Everything is different

I am no longer a driver trying to beat the time

I am a passenger trying to savor the seconds of my beloved

Trying to casually be as close as possible

In these situations, appreciation is my best attribute

The once glare is a subtle shy grin that only represents about 10 percent of what I feel

I think, “how sweet. Something intentionally put in place to stop time with you.”

I want more time with you

But the prideful sphere of my existence won’t allow me to speak.

The muffler is my mouthpiece projecting scrambled thoughts of anxiety and fear

Of ruining this moment

Too scared to ruin the peaceful silence

So I stare at the red light, thankful, for giving us something I’m too nervous to ask for